Friends...Insecurties...Relationship

Life has been crazy as is normal for us.  Bry is still working all sorts of crazy hours, however with the new store manager and a new scheduler is seems he is getting at least one day a weekend off and only closing a couple of nights a week.  (Now that I typed it, I am sure things will get tossed in a fury!)  He is in week 7 of 10 of his class and we are looking forward to another 10 weeks.  We are trying to decide if he should take 2 or just stick with the 1 class.  We are so ready for him to be done, but don't want to push things by doing too much and not having time for family.  I am sure God will lead us in the right direction. 
Our monthly Bible Study as been going really well, we have been breaking up guys and girls and it works out great.  The guys are able to study the things they like and us girls have been studying what we want.  We have been reading the Beth Moore book, So Long Insecurity. It is such a good book (I hate to read and can honestly say I have read almost 8 chapters and still reading.)  We have learned so much about insecurities, the cause of them, how to deal with them, how the devil thrives on them and of course the most important, how God wants us to deal with them. Last Friday we had such a good study...we have been moving very slow through the book, we are women, we get caught up talking!  However, I truly believe God has us right where he needs us.  So many of us had moments of realization last week that if we would have been anywhere else in the book we may not have been able to overcome some of the obstacles that are in our lives.  It is amazing how God knows what we need, when we need it and that it ALWAYS works out if we just let go and let God.  It is so funny how you can have a group of friends that you think you know so well and then all of a sudden you find out they have this insecurity, that you as their friend would have never seen that part of them as an insecurity.  As I get older (and wiser) I totally get that as you get older you just start getting things.  I mean, its just like you realize what matters and what doesn't and you can see the purpose in things that you couldn't before.  How is it that as a child you can't understand the "big picture?"  Why does it have to take living through it or watching someone live through it that you actually figure it out or start to understand it?  Why is it, that we let the devil control us and how we act and that we would rather listen to him then to truly know and have a relationship with the one and only person who knows us and loves us and wants only good for us?  I think that this book we are reading is going to help us grow in ourselves and to realize our insecurities and those of our friends and be able to overcome the negative that insecurities bring into our lives. 
One more thing and then this ramble will be over....
God has been speaking to me pretty heavy lately.  He wants me to commit to a relationship all the time, not just when its easy.  I am sure if you are reading this you know me, I am a Christian and I believe in God as my One and only Savior.  I know he is with me through everything I do and I know He will love me no matter what I do.  But, I am so ignorant when it comes to His word and I am not confident in the knowledge I have.  I have never been one to study the Bible...I guess I have never known how to study.  People say you just have to open it and God will put you where you need to be, but I just can't grasp that.  As I stated before, I hate to read....for me reading needs to have a purpose and even then, I don't always finish what I start.  I need to commit to my relationship with God, I need to prove to myself that I am stronger then my insecurities and that I can do what God wants me to do. 
OK, its out there...now to follow through! 
Here is to a new relationship and a stronger me!